Thursday, March 3, 2011
I wrote at the end of every post that the most important in life is learning to live. And right now I’m saying that its bullshit. The truth about life; is that the saddest thing in life is life itself.
The hardest thing in life is learning to live, to have a life, learning to let go and learning to forgive. All three I can’t learn (thinking to myself: can’t or won’t?), but the latter I can and I have done one too many times. It’s hard to grow when one doesn’t let you. It seems that no matter what or how hard I try there will always be something blocking me or something just goes wrong. It’s hard to prove it to people when the two most important things are lost. (Both confidence and courage; it’s been gone for like about 1 year plus) Not good. Those two might never come back to me, ever.
Hatred is like a thorn in your heart, it’s like a reminder telling you that you hate a certain person, but it doesn’t tells you who you are suppose to hate. Hating for one person too long can destroy the one relationship you have with that person. And hating a person too long and realizing that it you hated the wrong person is even damaging because; you know how to hate the person, but you wouldn’t know how to un-hate him and show love to him. Because; all you’ve ever learnt is to hate him.
How am I to love a wrongful hated person?
How am I to put my shield down?
How am I to turn my heart into a stone?
Feeling and not feeling, which is best? Feeling… no
When am I to get my wings?
Who am I to them?
Am I allowed to care for them?
Will I be hated for who I am?
If you hate yourself, what happens?
How will you be able to love when all you know is to hate?
You are really the weirdest, sucky-iest, assholic person in the whole wide world, black hole, infinity, eternity, and universe!!
So always try your hardest to smile so no one will see through you.
The Most Important Thing in Life is Learning to Live
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
After a very long time, I have finally realized something. That is, I have always hated and blame-ed myself for everything that has ever happen in my life. (*smirks*) I guess I was blinded by the hatred for that someone, blame-ed that someone. For all this years that I was totally ignorant of it. And I realized that the person I hate and blame is not him but me. So, all this long years I have been blaming and hating myself. (HA) And I didn’t even realize it. Stupid me. What can I say? I’m dumb. I don’t even know who I hate and blame.
The Most Important Thing in Life is Learning to Live
Saturday, December 26, 2009
When a person feels empty inside, it means that she has reached a bottomless pit. Whereby no one can help her, accept herself, which is ironic, when she cannot help herself up anymore. At this point of time, she is surrounded not only by darkness but also by sadness, despair and hatred of herself. It is truly kind of pathetic when you look at it that way. But that’s the way it is. Even if she tries, the light seems so far away if not too dim to be seen. She needs help, but do not whom to seek. And she is after all as brittle as a glass on the inside and as hard or strong as a stone on the outside, which is why she is afraid of seeking help. She is afraid of being hurt, even though she has not been hurt before. But she has seen it happen one too many times before on others. She has to learn to seek help from others. Not that, she hasn’t tried it before; it’s just that it didn’t work out. And people do not listen but they only hear, which is, not much of a help. What she needs is a person who is willing to listen to her and not comment on anything but just lends a shoulder for her to cry on, and not asking any questions. But just to be by her side. Right now she does not think that theirs is anyone like that. And she has trust issues, which is weird. All in all, an empty person, is a person clouded by darkness.
The Most Important Thing in Life is Learning to Live
Monday, December 14, 2009
A lost little wolf cub asking questions...
Will I be able to live with myself after what I have done?
Will I be able to be without friends or family?
What I am going to do with my life?
Will I betray those whom I hold so dear to my heart?
Is my friendship so thin?
Do I have what it takes to be a good person?
Will I be hurting someone in the process?
Will I ever be able to forget?
Am I a coward?
Am I jealous?
Why is my heart as hard as a stone but at the same time as fragile as a glass?
And lastly…
Why is the world such a cruel place?
Who can answer them?
The Most Important Thing in Life is Learning to Live
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Soon to be dying mp3
Soon to be dying lappy,
Dying music (saddness of all),
Dying life,
Dying hope (die-ed),
Dying faith (die-ed),
Dying love (die-ed),
Dying family relationships,(cannot be mended anymore)
Hatred revived,
Depression revived,
All this leads to a dying Punitha. (the Punitha i know is gone-ing soon)
All in all, a total screwed up, fucked up life. Where there is no room to breathe anymore. Wings clipped even before i was born.
The Most Important Thing in Life is Learning to Live
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
im still a big big WORTHLESS, a HOPELESS, a big big time LOSER, a big big FAILURE, soul!
i should have just stop, but i didn't. which therfore resulted in so so so many ppl to be diappointed, to be angry at themselves because they can't help.
and the best of all, im not doing anything to stop it from happening. i need someone there with me, to play with me. i have, but i don't at the same time.
im sorri ppl for everything i did.
im dying a little every single day. and...
I NEED & WANT A HUG.
The Most Important Thing in Life is Learning to Live
Friday, October 2, 2009
I’m such a loser, and a hopeless one too.
I’m ever so depressed till I can’t even bare to have a proper 3 meal per day thingy…
My ‘smile’ song is NOT working!! And I do not know why. Guess I’m too damn fucking depressed…
I’m letting people down, like Gena and Ian. And I think Yusri too?
…In this concrete jungle humans are meant to suffer…
The Most Important Thing in Life is Learning to Live
♠watashiwa PUNITHA desu♠
Name - Punitha/lonewolf
DOB - 01^12^89
Sex - Female... duh!
Add - somewhere in s'pore
Color - Black, White, Sliver, Blue, Purple
Likes - Animals - especially wolves, dogs, vipers etc...
- Books - thriller, murder, fanatsy, magical
- Movies - too many to type.. lazy to type too
- Anime - gundam seed, gundam seed destiny, macross frontier, shugo chara, vampire knight, vampire knight guilty, magic knights rayearth & many more..
- Toys - transformers, starwars, gundam fig..
- Game - counter strike, left 4 dead..
Mystical being/Creatures – dragons, unicorn, vampire, demons, witch..
Wanna b - Animal keeper!!!
Wanaa go - Venice
Schools - Bendemeer Primary, Serangoon Secondary, RP
My ♥'s
My idiots
♦Buddy
♦Babi
♦Clara
♦HuiYu
♦John
♦Lynnie
♦Ninie
♦Ryan
RPWS
♦Arief
♦Gena
♦Haziq
♦Naf
♦Pat
♦Sandra
♦Syu
♦Wei Yang
♦Yani
♦YanLing
♦Yi Zhen
♦WANTED♦
FREEDOM
A JOB
Marvel Heroes Bag
Jacket
External hard drive
Hoodies
BOOKS(box set,hard cover)
Anthony E Zuiker
Dark Origins
Christopher Paolini
Eragon
Eldest
Brisingr
Eragon's Guide to Alagaësia
MARK ROBSON
Dragon Orb
FireStrom
Shadow
LongFang
Aurora
Michael Scott
The Alchemyst
The Magician
The Sorceress
The Necromancer
The Warlock
The Enchantress
Alison Goodman
Eon Dragoneye Reborn
Eona The Last Dragoneye
J. K. Rowling (adult version)
Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Harry Potter and the Half-blood Prince
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
L. J. Smith
The Vampire Diaries:
The Awakening
The Struggle
The Fury
Dark Reunion
The Return
Night World:
Secret Vampire
Daughters of Darkness
Spellbinder
Dark Angel
The Chosen
Soulmate
Huntress
Black Dawn
Witchlight
Strange Fate
Kelly Armstrong
Bitten
Stolen
Dime Store Magic
Industrial Magic
Haunted
Broken
Stephenie Meyer
Twilight
New Moon
Eclipse
Breaking Dawn
Lucinda Hare
The Dragon Whisperer
Flight to Dragon Isle
♣Nonsense♣
