Monday, September 28, 2009
Hmmm... well life still goes on..Some say humans are weak. That’s why the love and that’s why the hate one another. But if that’s the case, then wouldn’t I be right in that animals are weak too? So which is it? Are humans weak, can they be compared to animals?
Am I weak? I seek love and I do want to hate with all my heart. (Well, only to certain people, not the whole world though. That will be crazy. lol) One thing I do know for certain, is that there’s already a person I hate. And hating that person is wrong. But I can’t stop myself from hating him. Our relationship has grown farther and father away from each other. At times, (even if it helps) I do want to mend and close that distance. Only… I can’t bring myself to do that. For reasons I’m unsure off. And there’s no person I love but only my friends. And my heart will always be with them, though I know that I’m not meant to have any friends, but I can’t help it. I want to be with them, but the situation I’m in does not allow me to do so.
Only when I’m free, I will be able to breathe and live like I’ve always hoped for. But … what I hope for can only be realised in my dreams and nothing more.
As what someone told me, ‘I look sad and pathetic.’ Well that’s one thing I can agree on.
Life still goes on…
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Random ThoughtsMy life now is like the desert. It’s plain, lifeless at times and coarse. Considering my situation, it’s not a very good life to live in. My days are filled with nothing but pigeons… (-.-! there’s nothing I can do about them though.) Sometimes I wish that I was a wolf so I can roam the lands with ease, not caring about what time I have to get my ass home, or even about the pigeons. *sighs*what an evil thought, though it sounds real nice and all. But it’s a wish that could never ever come true unless I was reincarnated into a wolf. (Ha... sounds crazy, though I don’t believe in reincarnations and I don’t think it’s true.) But a girl like me can fantasize right?
I’ve never really tired to open up my heart to anyone before. Though it’s not that I’ve been hurt real bad to open up myself again. It’s just that since young I have never really talked to anyone about how I feel or about what my heart is hiding. And you may find this funny but the person (not really a person though, she’s an animal a dog to be precise) I’ve ever truly poured out my heart to is my dog. It’s been like then, and it’s still the same now. The only different is that instead of talking to her, I’m talking to my teddy. Why teddy and not my dog? It’s because she has left my world a long time ago.
I’ve tried talking to humans. Like Gena, Yi Zhen, Vincent (my god-bro), and even Ryan. Though they did help me in someway, I guess, it just doesn’t seem right talking to them. I don’t why, but it seems hard for me to open up to another human being. *sighs* maybe I’m weird or maybe I’m mad. Either way, I just don’t get it…
The distance between my father and I just got farther. And there’s nothing that I can do about it. I guess he knows that there’s something wrong with our relationship but I think he just can’t figure it out. And I’m afraid that when he does, it’ll be too late. Though I can just tell him the problem but then again I’m not good with words. And striking up a simple conversion with him just can’t happen. He just doesn’t understand! i do not want to live my life with regrets but…. I… just… can’t do it… *sigh*
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Monday, September 14, 2009
In life and in the world, the two greatest things one could ever ask for is music and freedom. I have music, but not freedom. When do i get a taste of freedom, that i do not know but i do know that i have one of the two greatest things on Earth and it doesn't make any sense as to why i have one but not the other. Though it is beyond my control. I can only wait and see.Just thought of one thing today:
A friend of mine once told me - if you do not respect the person, at least respect the post he is holding.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
In time, my heart shall harden,Love, hope and faith won’t matter.
Life been compromised,
And shall be till the day I fall.
I shall be free when the day comes,
And I shall wait for that day.
Damage has been done,
Nothing can fix it now,
Only time will tell.
But then again, time waits for no man.
Monday, September 7, 2009
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Gloomy Sunday
Sunday is Gloomy,
My hours are slumberless,
Dearest, the shadows I live with are numberless
Little white flowers will never awaken you
Not where the black coach of sorrow has taken you
Angels have no thought of ever returning you
Would they be angry if I thought of joining you
Gloomy Sunday
Sunday is gloomy
with shadows I spend it all
My heart and I have decided to end it all
Soon there'll be flowers and prayers that are sad,
I know, let them not weep,
Let them know that I'm glad to go
Death is no dream,
For in death I'm caressing you
With the last breath of my soul I'll be blessing you
Gloomy Sunday
Dreaming
I was only dreaming
I wake and I find you
Asleep in the deep of
My heart
Dear
Darling I hope that my dream never haunted you
My heart is telling you how much I wanted you
Gloomy Sunday
I once told an idiot that you play for yourself and not others.
(HA! easier said then done, stupid me *slaps head*).
what on earth was i thinking?
Should i just give up? Should i leave forever the one thing i love?
By doing that, some might be angry and sad or worst disappointed with me, or, some might be sad, disappointed, confused or elated.
HOW?
Been thinking alot these few days, but nothing seems to fall into place.
*smirks* gave people advices but can't seem to have one for yourself hor, LOUSY SHIT!!
Punitha ah, choices man, you got to choose!
one real random thought: i really miss my dog, and i still hate you for doing that!
